And It Was Wrong

Exception To The Rule

A month ago, I went home with a guy. We had just met, he had told me he went to the same university as me, and that he knew a couple of my friends (I have since asked these friends if they knew him and they have no idea who he is). It was 4 am, my friends had all bailed on me, and it would have taken a semi-expensive cab ride for me to get home. We kissed and he said I could sleep on the couch at his place, which was 10 min away.

As we walked back to his place, he told me very personal stories and held my hand. I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable, but thought that he was just a bit odd, but in a sweet way.

Back at his house, I decided that I wanted to sleep with him. I told him that I wouldn't have sex unless he had a condom. Twice he pretended to put one on, or put one on only for me to realize 5 minutes later that it wasn't there anymore. I asked him to stop. He didn't at first.

After a while I managed to make him stop. I told him that it wasn't OK, if I said stop, he had to stop. He apologized, and I said that I was going to sleep. I wasn't familiar with the neighborhood and I didn't want to make him angry by getting up and leaving. So I decided to sleep there until the morning. I woke up to him almost having sex with me in my sleep.

A week later I confronted him about what he had done. At first he denied it, but then told me that what I said was true. He also said that he didn't want this mistake to ruin his life, for his future wife to find out and that he wanted to work for the state and that a criminal record would prevent him from doing so.

I haven't decided what to do. I know that many people will say that the risk I took going home with a stranger is enough to deserve what happened. But does that mean that every man I've had consensual sex with, or who respected my refusal to have sex, were the exception to the rule? What happened to me a month ago was the exception, and it was wrong.

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